It does happen. A foe or a feign friend makes you a target. Unnerving you, she criticizes you before your group, uses meaty sarcasm to describe your life choices and selects you as the recipient of most of the jokes. Or maybe it’s not so overt. Sometimes people can be very clever, of course, to mask malicious motives behind words like, “I’m so concerned about you” or “Can you fill me in a little so I can pray about it?” Compassion goes on under the guise of prayer or a fictional representation of piety and then you are lambasted at a later date based on a weakness or sadness.
Analysis first. Do you do the same thing? Are you rude? Do you lift your friends or do you smash your friends? Are you a narcissistic borderline personality? Are your own motives filled with duplicity?
If you have no giant sized log in your own eye in this struggle, then do, indeed, look at that speck in the eye of your friend.
English Standard Version – Matthew 7:3
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
God informs our heart about such matters. Some call it our gut feeling. You may indeed get it all right. If it seems reasonable in space and timing, you can ask her why if the reason isn’t coming. If you know the “why” behind some of the disingenuous hits, that can actually remedy your leaky soul. If you know, let’s say, that your friend is kind of a narcissist and needs to suck all of the air out of the room with her presence and you’re kind of getting too much attention…boom. Don’t take that personally and get smashed by it. It’s annoying but it shouldn’t ever sink your sense of worthiness.
It’s hard for humans to avoid the low ebb results from that cesspool of crap. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The keys that open doors; the doors to our sense of unworthiness, can ultimately become defunct; non-workable. Humans are human. God tells us all about it in the Bible, through redemptive history, the books of wisdom, like the book of Proverbs, and in New Testament unfolding. There is nothing new under the sun. It’s been going on since the beginning.
If you go through life with the strain of hurt feelings over human behavior, you’re creating more struggle for yourself in a world where God already promised you there would be struggle. Petition the Lord to remind you that your worth does not come from such matters. You just love and love well. Don’t get caught up in the vortex of reaction to such things but do make this world a better place by navigating people toward love by light and by your example. And, ultimately, redirect people in love. That will change the world much more than reacting in despair and agony. We know the story of discontent. Don’t waste your wisdom.